Friday, April 10, 2009

~Love Isn't Love, Till You Give It Away~

I never thought I would see the day when I would truly be this happy...to where everything could go wrong one day, yet I'm still feeling the same happy feeling. It's strange to me. Most of the friends that I see during the week tell me that I am a much happier person. That I have a sort of....'glow' about me. I can only think of one thing that could make me have that glow right now....and I can honestly say, that is the one thing that is scaring me the most. I don't really know for sure how things are going to turn out yet, but I hope that whatever way things go, that everything will work out...and things'll be okay. Cause, no matter how much it feels different, I like it. It has had its effects on me. And I like them. ^_^ Also, I never thought I would hear...well, see myself say this, but I think that I may have found the perfect guy. The one guy who can take me at my best, and then turn around and take my worst. And still feel the same about me. And I think that I would be ready...and more than willing to drop everything and....run away with him. Is strange, yes? I mean, me. The worst person to hold onto relationships. I get scared, or nervous and I drop the relationship and run. It's almost like a safty thing. My brain is trying to keep my heart from hurting even more. But this time it's different. I don't have to overwhelming urge to run. Also, there is another thing bothering me. I don't understand why I have to go to Clark's main campus Monday's, Wednesdays, Saturdays...and then go to WSUV on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It makes me angry. Plus, on top of my school schedule being so messed up, he had to get a job that he doesn't even really know when he's working or when he's not so I'm hardly going to see him now. It's frusterating. I don't want to have to have a scheduled time when I can see my friends and most importaintly, my boyfriend. I don't want to wait until June to have free time. I just hope that it goes fast cause I don't know if I can go longer than that. I want to know how things turn out..I want to know if things are going to be okay or not. I don't want to guess my way through life. It's going to make me the slightest bit crazy. I just hope that no one tries to change my mind or cuts me out of their lives. Cause this very well could be the one thing that gets me cut out of so many peoples lives. Especially my family. I know like, two thirds of my friends will be there, but I don't want to lose my fmaily either. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost either of my family groups. And as for the people who already know, don't reply or try and get me to talk about it. Cause I won't talk until I know facts.....which unfortunatly won't be until Monday after school. Cause the stupid people channged my appointment.

Until then....tata.
Loves for everyone.

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